Life sucks,so what?Rangers Lead The Way!

Listen, baby
Ain't no mountain high
Ain't no valley low
Ain't no river wide enough, baby

If you need me, call me
No matter where you are
No matter how far
Just call my name
I'll be there in a hurry
You don't have to worry

'Cause baby,
There ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you

Remember that brothers, as we stand at Farrer Park on Friday.

I'm like working around the bloody clock with all the school stuff coming together.My homework,both due and long overdue,the PW stuff,my Onyx house matters,rugby,running are all trying to get a slice of the 24 hour day I have.Actually its 23hours,59 minutes and 14 seconds but you must have known that right?The sports day registration deadline is today and I had to bloody hell typed it twice and emailed it to Siti,the Bartley campus house captain.Twice because as I was sending the email to her the first time,some fugly jackass went on and call my house and disconnect the damn computer.I think now that both my hands have contracted Parkinson's disease and I can remember every person taking part and their classes.Totally useless stuff compared to the organic chemistry and translational rotations that I have to learn.And sometimes I wonder if chemists and physicists are a bunch of unoccupied people that have nothing better to do on a weekend.And also mathematicians.Especially mathematicians.

Few days come and gone.We won YJC 15-5 in front of their screaming home crowd.I didn't play,as usual.Instead I'll be starting against ACJC this friday.Well then,Sam had never choose me for my attacking qualities in all my time in MI.I wouldn't think he would start on friday.

Went out with her again on saturday and sunday.There were alot of things that,for the first time,I wanted to buy.Rockstar,Hot fuss,Snow Patrol live,this illustrated Star Wars book on weapons and technology and a great deal other stuff.All the while I was this satiated guy and suddenly the next I was this guy who needed to read and listen to all this stuff.Oh yeah,not to mention Diana Krall's Live in Detroit and this superb compilation of jazz works.And I still want that Sugarcult new CD form last year and it still bloody costs $45 at HMV.And then she wants to buy an iPod shuffle.Oh man,but first on the list;The Killers' Hot Fuss.Definitely.

A funny thing happened today.I ran and reached my class row exactly as the schoolbell rings for Assembly.As I was perspiring my ass off the SC people were giving annoucements.Suddenly,"All class reps are to meet Zaki at the flagpole after assembly.Thank You."Shit.There I was standing and perspiring my ass off figuring out the number of Zakis in MI and deciding there is only me.After that I think real hard about whether I had given such an announcement to the SC.After deciding that I should run for the toilet right after assembly,Anisha tap me on the shoulder and apologised for using my name.So yeah,I had to give a briefing to the year ones with thirty seconds of preparation and I believed I pulled it off excellently.THen after that Anisha and I got screwed by Mrs Maye.When you get a mouthful from the DM,you know it's ging to be a cocked up day.Sad to say it is with me getting screwed(again) by Ms Ng,getting detention and getting reminded that I have to go to SP later tomorrow.Well at least rugby was all right.

Less than eighteen hours away from the YJC match.Even though Mr Azlan told us that the reason why we performed poorly was that we psyched up too much and got too anxious.Well,not me.Psyching up for twelve hours and playing for five seconds can do wonders for your morale.If you catch my drift.I'm psyching up,all the way again.I know that something big is happening and by God I will be on that team to make it happen.

Oh man,the Killers are coming out now and everyone is up in an uproar over them.I just hope it didn't happen like last time when I rave about Linkin Park in Secondary one and everyone else started to dig them in Secondary four while I listened to Sugarcult.Hah.I'm ahead of the times.

The start of the A division Rugby Nationals,and we are up by three points.But it was a poor game and I believed the whole team agrees with me.Sam presented a target 40-0 for us;we ended up with 14-0.Only two freaking tries and Mutu would easily admit that the second try was a cheap one.I wouldn't be truthful if I say HCI was a good team.They are not and they simply rely on long punts.It says something about a team's character if within thirty metres of our tryline,they decide to do a place kick in place of a scrummage.It says that the team either suck at scrummage,or that the standoff had big balls.In this case,both is true.Hwa Chong suck at scrums,and the standoff has big balls but not enough skill to pull it off.One on one,we were better than the rest of the HC team.But the fucking thing was the fact we were commiting too many penalties.You name the infringement,we probably did it in the game.It really sucks having been inside their 22metre area seven times and not being able to score a try.It really sucks.It also suck for another reason.

It is called the curse of the reserve scrumhalf.All teams encounter this poor curse.Let me backtrack abit.In all teams,there would always be subsitutes for a game.In a typical team,there would be a few reserve forwards mostly being able to cover the skills of the tight five and the loose three.Likewise for the backs,the few reserves would be able to play the different positions on the backline.But there is only one reserve scrumhalf.Now I wouldn't be wrong if I am to say that the scrumhalf is the most specialized position.Let me list the attributes required.A fellow scrumhalf must-
1.the most basic skill of all,pass the ball accurately.
2.the other basic skill,tackle big forwards and bringing them down.
3.a specialized skill here,do the different scrumhalf passes;diving,pivot and so on,with sufficient technique.
4.another one,do a box kick and cross kick;that is to pick up the ball from the ground,take a step and evade the bloody flanker and kick the ball accurately within a second step.
5.a big thing to ask for,remember both the backs and forwards teamcalls and carrying them out in seconds.
6.be a crafty bastard who can trick another scrumhalf,another crafty bastard.
7.being able to play the ball out to the forwards when required,and passing it to the backs when they are screaming for it.
8.running with the ball when the backs are too dumb to do anything at all and when the forwards are being too slow,a very risky proposition as the opposition flankers are very attracted to the number 9.
9.Cajole the backs to let the forwards play,and knock it into the latter's heads when they are doing nuts about the ball.
10.Know very well the nuts and bolts of the scrum,lineout,maul and ruck,the basic components of rugby.

In short,scrumhalves are a breed of their own and whoever have the above-mentioned attributes and much more is a cut above the rest.So you can imagine what a great scrumhalf Navin is.And 1st team scrumhalves would need all the training they can afford.So they would take part in all the team plays and such.And the reserve scrumhalf,only one as having two is anathema,would guide the year 1s in playing the game.In letting one reach his peak in that position,the other would be in a stagnant level where he would not have enough game experience or get used to playing along with the first team.Case in point,me.I never did play as scrumhalf in the games I play,switching mainly to the wings or fullback.And so it was just now.I played a grand total of five seconds on the open wing.I am really afraid if something happens to Navin and I have to replace him,the amount of knowledge I have to play scrumhalf barely scratch the surface of his.And now most teams target and hammer the scrumhalf specifically because they know the reserve scrumhalf who replaces the first is a complete jackarse idiot who know nuts about the position he is playing.I fear that the complete jackarse idiot is me.Damn the curse of the reserve scrumhalf.

Here I am in LT4 at 10.04pm,blogging away.It has been a good day so far,with the camp and all.Catch up later.

"It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew."

Henry Rollins

It's happening to me now.I no longer know myself anymore.

Screw my phoneline;there is always something wrong with it.For the past few days I have been unable to do nuts with neither my phone nor my computer connection.Suddenly while I was in a fit of rage I hit the cable jack and it was working again.Damn Singtel.Didn't bother to come to school today.Heh,I remember Mr Cheen saying it is "voluntary absentism".A lot of memories came flashing back while I was at my alma mater HKSS last Saturday.A whole crackload of embarassment,some joy,a few tears,a laugh here and there.You could see why I don't like to come to Hong Kah all that much.I was sad to find my picture at the top of the Sportleaders' board missing,and glad seeing it replaced with Hidayah Rahim's one.She's a pretty good leader and she more than pulled her equal load of the work handed out during events and stuff.I sure hope she doesn't become like me and slack around some;heh,I was a "very effective work delegator" to quote Mr Razak long time ago.Implying I sit around do jack while people are doing a crapload of things.A very important leadership tool,delegation is.

Speaking of effective leadership,I scored a 32.5 for my GP.Which is to say I blew aA2 away once more.Hafiz told me that I got screwed Application and Summary,gettting a whole of 5 out of a very possible 16.But I was shocked to find that I was numero uno for it,seeing that my other subjects were really down in the dumps.Hafiz got a 16 while Chrishan got a 12.5.Damn,I'm really sad about those two.Chrishan especially.The guy was trying to learn everything I tried teaching,although I have a gut feeling it failed miserably.What a waste.

Can't do much now.It's less than 72 hours away.I'm getting even more anxious than before.Guess I won't be doing much sleeping tomorrow's night.

I grew amazingly furious at deciphering the Mobius strip I had on my hands.It is such a wonderful phenomenon,twisting a strip of paper such that it becomes infinite,having neither head nor end onto itself.Over this I pondered about life itself.The cruel twist that we must inflict on ourselves to achieve perfect harmony in our lives,and the irony that comes with it.Confucius say we must be like a bamboo in a morning's breeze;swaying with the unwavering wind but never breaking in such opposition.But the two philosophies contradict each other in a manner that stumps me.A stone that stands against current would wear its face down,but do we have to compromise ourselves to achieve the satisfaction of a group at the cost of one's own happiness?

A rhetoric question at best,one few would leave alone,in search of other and more pragmatic questions of money,work and other issues Singaporeans can identify with.Searching for a win-win situation,we are taught to compromise on some things if we are to enjoy other perks.Such as what,more money to drown ourselves in?Is the five Cs really our lives' raison d'etre?I for one thinks that the value of the dollar is a limit,a barricade we set ourselves in search of material value as we slowly sell our dignity crassly.What's dignity you would say,nothing but a white elephant in today's corporate world.In the process of spending the lifesavings we have,we would scrimp on giving a few cents to a beggar.I would be sad if my grandson were to say he made a million today but never made any friends.Should an invesment banker be more revered than a social volunteer?Should the aim of life itself be the qualification of commercial value,one ruled by the law of diminishing returns?

I say in becoming princes of wealth,we are becoming paupers in life at the end.I'll rather be a rich poor man than a poor rich man anyday.It sure gives me something to think about rather than hearing some shit from Teck Way.

No one offered their condolences to me,no teacher went to pull me aside and consoled me about my dismal grades.I went to school in Vicknesh's dad's car and thught that it was a pretty good omen.And it was.Mr Saw was laughing with me throughout the three periods I had with him,chemistry was a bit sad but we were back in business for physics,Mr Tan going through the motions of translational forces.We had CCA openhouse and I was in charge of the rugby booth.The one thing that was the attraction of the day was definitely Saha's PS2 and EA Rugby 2005.The whole team abandoned the booth just to watch two guys play the game.In the end rugby did pretty well,gathering the names of twenty-two guys and twenty-eight girls.

I don't know about the other thirteen guys,but the nine year ones that was with us since the first training was terrific,their attitute brought up the morale of the whole team.Even though I was spending of training just now teaching the year ones about defending against the rampaging first team,I couldn't ask for a better starter team.They were putting up active resistance even though most of them didn't know nuts about some of the most basic laws of the game.Well then again most of them didn't get our jokes,but they will learn in time.

I wish that we could get the same number of people for track though.There was only four guys signing up.Pretty soon there'll be none.I hope not.And I got to know that I'm in the team now.That makes it official I guess.Although I have nothing to prove,I sure know the guys on the team have something to prove.

Bullshit,today was.It stinks of the very thing that might have kill Socrates.The whole fucking day have been a cocked up shitty one,the only minor consolation being that I didn't fail my malay miserably like the rest of the others.Today didn't do nuts for my morale,batttering it all the way to the freaking wet ground.Especially with a week to go.

Sunday.Went out with my girlfriend today.It was a hell of a time.Can you believe we almost spend $200,almost all of it by herself?It was her payday and she put aside that money just for going out.Damn,I didn't even spend a single cent.Makes you wonder what type of man I am huh?Well,I am not threaten by the ability of my significant other to make money by the truckloads.Neither am I envious,nor am I ashamed by my lack of monetory power.I am however,amazed by the amount of liquid cash she can waste in the six hours we went out.We spent $87 at Giant,$18 at the Bagus place(which is a serious waste),fifty bucks or so on her apparel(shoes,clothes,etc)and a whooping $14.75 on me.Woo!my girlfriend spent a astonishing 7.5% to buy a packet of strepsils,a loaf of bread,a carton of milk and a unagi don set(which isn't worth its $8.90 pricetag).So what,at least she has my well being in mind.And she's buying Armored Cav for me.Now that is an expensive book to have.

Finally,something that made up for all the stupid shites that happened today.The bloody phoneline is working again and I got the internet connection back on.I think the world played a damn sadistic april's fool joke today.Maybe I should have seen that coming,the world being a separate entity outside of ourselves playing a massively huge joke on its populace living on its crusted skin.Maybe the supercomputer controlling the matrix in our lives had a shitty bug installed and our perceptions just happen to sense that our free-thinking selves didn't realised that our bodies are just imaginary,non-materialistic dreams.

Sorry for the sorry crap you had been reading;I'm really pissed confused by Decartes' method of hyperbolical doubt and Berkeley's Idealism theory that reputes it.It goes over my head faster than the differentiation problems I tried doing in the maths common test.The moral of the story?DO NOT dabble in philosophy when you're still a jackarse.It might do wonders for your GP but in the end you will be a poor paranoid fellow who questions even the most mundane events,least not to say the great ones like the big bang theory or the empiricism theory that ought not to be put forward in the first place as all it does is confuse a bunch of geeks that tell me that my mind can actually cause Britney Spears to strip in front of me.Don't bother trying.It sure didn't happen to me.

But wait,Descartes' Dualism of Realities actually works in the span of moments when I was walking to the house meeting dreading that I was house captain to actually reliving the exact horror five minutes later.

Bullshit Zaki,you have always wanted to be a house captain throughout secondary school.

Yes Zaki,but you were never a good captain.Everyone says so.

Yeah,but you have to remember Zaki,most of your evidence now is from a single anecdotal source who turn out to be a even more worse captain than your prenatal days.

Alright Zaki,I rest my argument as there is insufficient evidence to proof that you have a brain.

Shit,am I becoming schizophrenic?

And something else.Should I be afraid when a stupid name generator lists my name a demonic angel?Or should I just laugh it off like the freaking dictator that I am?