Tuesday, July 04, 2006
Dirty little secrets.
You know how people are embarassed of certain things in their lives? How they would try to keep their dirty little secrets from the prying eyes of their friends, even their family members? Well most of these "things" are usually downright silly, sometimes even hilarious if you think about about it. However, I've read if you admit your source of embarassment to the general public, you would be encouraged even further to correct the errors of your ways. So here's the things I'm super embarassed to say, but going to say it anyway. And I'm going to find some way to get it right.
1.My weight.
For the record, my official weight(as taken during the NS checkup) is 46.5kg. I know most probably that I was the lightest player to play in the Schools' A divisions Rugby Championship. Hell, Manan could lift me up all by himself during line outs. The guy you would see going all over the field? That would be me. Thus the name-flying scrumhalf. And I try damn hard to live up to the namesake. It's not that I'm anorexic or what, I just can't seem to gain weight at all! Seriously, I envy people who say they gain a few kilogrammes over the holidays. I took a freaking three months to gain a freaking two kilogrammes;and most of that went when my A division started. I can eat anything, anything at all, and it does nuts to my weight. And I eat more than my friends. Well I know that some of my friends envy my high metabolism rate, but I can tell you it sometimes suck for me to.
2.My ineptitude at maths.
For some strange reason, I can't seem to do maths at all. Ok, normal everyday maths are fine with me. However when it comes to Differentiation or Integration, basically your typical A level mathematics topics, all the nerves in my brain suddenly decide to disconnect. I'm so ashamed of myself. Seriously. And I'm damn jealous of people who say that they are only passable in the damn subject. I seriously rever people who can speak maths like a mother tongue. People I've met who do that; Fahmi, Pramodh, Say Hoon, Yussuf, Suan Zhi and Willy, you don't see me dissing them. Well maybe Pramodh, but then we dissed each other like nobody's business. So there. Math. Can't get it to fit inside my head. But i wish it can anyway.
3.My ineptitude at religion.
I've been a muslim for almost twenty years, and yet I don't know things madrasah kids know. I used to pray in school with Hafiz, but I stopped after a while because I'm so bloody embarassed of myself. Seriously, I wished I paid attention to religious class. I wish I could understand what is being written in the Koran. I wish I know what it really feels like to cry while reciting the Al-Fatihah ayat. And some people really do cry while reciting it. I would gladly exchange my legs(which happens to be my second most valuable body part after my heart) to read the Koran front to end.
4.My attitude.
I'm so bloody lazy. I see hardworking people and I wonder what drives them. I'm not proud to admit it, but I wish I'm stupid and hardworking. So what if I'm good at languages and science, it's the willpower of my friends to work under pressure that led them to incredibly good results. Sometimes I wished that my parents put me under some pressure to succeed in my studies so that my work attitude would change. Attitude,something I need to change now.
5.My personal qualities.
Seriously, I'm not really fit to be a boyfriend, a husband, even a father. I see guys who have the total package and I just want to go to my control panel, switch a few programs and put some rubbish in the recycle bin. To misquote Jack Nicholson, I found a girl that would make me a better man. I'm just waiting for her.
1.My weight.
For the record, my official weight(as taken during the NS checkup) is 46.5kg. I know most probably that I was the lightest player to play in the Schools' A divisions Rugby Championship. Hell, Manan could lift me up all by himself during line outs. The guy you would see going all over the field? That would be me. Thus the name-flying scrumhalf. And I try damn hard to live up to the namesake. It's not that I'm anorexic or what, I just can't seem to gain weight at all! Seriously, I envy people who say they gain a few kilogrammes over the holidays. I took a freaking three months to gain a freaking two kilogrammes;and most of that went when my A division started. I can eat anything, anything at all, and it does nuts to my weight. And I eat more than my friends. Well I know that some of my friends envy my high metabolism rate, but I can tell you it sometimes suck for me to.
2.My ineptitude at maths.
For some strange reason, I can't seem to do maths at all. Ok, normal everyday maths are fine with me. However when it comes to Differentiation or Integration, basically your typical A level mathematics topics, all the nerves in my brain suddenly decide to disconnect. I'm so ashamed of myself. Seriously. And I'm damn jealous of people who say that they are only passable in the damn subject. I seriously rever people who can speak maths like a mother tongue. People I've met who do that; Fahmi, Pramodh, Say Hoon, Yussuf, Suan Zhi and Willy, you don't see me dissing them. Well maybe Pramodh, but then we dissed each other like nobody's business. So there. Math. Can't get it to fit inside my head. But i wish it can anyway.
3.My ineptitude at religion.
I've been a muslim for almost twenty years, and yet I don't know things madrasah kids know. I used to pray in school with Hafiz, but I stopped after a while because I'm so bloody embarassed of myself. Seriously, I wished I paid attention to religious class. I wish I could understand what is being written in the Koran. I wish I know what it really feels like to cry while reciting the Al-Fatihah ayat. And some people really do cry while reciting it. I would gladly exchange my legs(which happens to be my second most valuable body part after my heart) to read the Koran front to end.
4.My attitude.
I'm so bloody lazy. I see hardworking people and I wonder what drives them. I'm not proud to admit it, but I wish I'm stupid and hardworking. So what if I'm good at languages and science, it's the willpower of my friends to work under pressure that led them to incredibly good results. Sometimes I wished that my parents put me under some pressure to succeed in my studies so that my work attitude would change. Attitude,something I need to change now.
5.My personal qualities.
Seriously, I'm not really fit to be a boyfriend, a husband, even a father. I see guys who have the total package and I just want to go to my control panel, switch a few programs and put some rubbish in the recycle bin. To misquote Jack Nicholson, I found a girl that would make me a better man. I'm just waiting for her.
