Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I'm sorry ruggers.
I'm sorry I didn't do write any entry these past few days..The problem lies with my computer..For some reason whenever I log into websites,I would basically log put again automatically..Now I'm using my old computer.It might be damn old and rusty but it does the job well enough.
Unlike me.
Today is a day I would rather remember for the rest of my life.It's nothing good,it is something most people rather forget..Today is the day I single-handedly caused MI to lose to CJC.The reason?
Me.
Why you may wonder.My teammates may not tell anyone this in front of me,but on that field just now,I was the weakest of the 20 standing.I don't think I even deserve to be in the team in the first place.I'm even worse than Max.I was a bloody spectator in the game,a damned coward hiding behind the forwards.I was the reason MI lost.God,to have too much expectations from the game and see all that being thrown into the vicious mud.It wasn't humiliating.It was a wake up call,one that is telling me that I was never any good in rugby.Never was,never will be.My teammates,they tell me that they too were at fault and it was a good game for me,that despite being the smallest,I was the strongest in the rucks.God damn it,I'm not even supposed to be a forward and contest in rucks.My own duty as a scrumhalf to my team wasn't even done.Supplying passes to the two pods,I didn't even managed that.I lost passes from scrums,balls from lineouts,rucks,maul...a C division scrumhalf would be ashamed to be recognized with me.Jonathan blames the backs for not carrying out their moves.They can't because there wasn't any ball coming out of the scrums,the lineouts,the mauls..Sam is right as ever.The forwards and backs will always need a good link man to raise the team to top flight.
And I'm not the guy they are looking for.
Unlike me.
Today is a day I would rather remember for the rest of my life.It's nothing good,it is something most people rather forget..Today is the day I single-handedly caused MI to lose to CJC.The reason?
Me.
Why you may wonder.My teammates may not tell anyone this in front of me,but on that field just now,I was the weakest of the 20 standing.I don't think I even deserve to be in the team in the first place.I'm even worse than Max.I was a bloody spectator in the game,a damned coward hiding behind the forwards.I was the reason MI lost.God,to have too much expectations from the game and see all that being thrown into the vicious mud.It wasn't humiliating.It was a wake up call,one that is telling me that I was never any good in rugby.Never was,never will be.My teammates,they tell me that they too were at fault and it was a good game for me,that despite being the smallest,I was the strongest in the rucks.God damn it,I'm not even supposed to be a forward and contest in rucks.My own duty as a scrumhalf to my team wasn't even done.Supplying passes to the two pods,I didn't even managed that.I lost passes from scrums,balls from lineouts,rucks,maul...a C division scrumhalf would be ashamed to be recognized with me.Jonathan blames the backs for not carrying out their moves.They can't because there wasn't any ball coming out of the scrums,the lineouts,the mauls..Sam is right as ever.The forwards and backs will always need a good link man to raise the team to top flight.
And I'm not the guy they are looking for.
