Saturday, July 31, 2004
Disappointment.
I didn't feel like blogging these past few days...mainly because I feel like shit...and tired..but mainly I feel like shit.These past few days,they can kill a man caught unaware.
The National Finals;it was like a dream come true for me.Running always seems like a dream to me.You feel the pain,your wanting to stop as you go about chasing fifteen guys in front of you.That was how it was for me;I was chasing the fifteen who were getting further and further away from me.Oh my God,I would never imagine taking the loser's lap,having everyone cheering and clapping for me,waiting for me to finish the last 100m alone.If finishing last was something to be expected,seeing my timing go up by eight seconds was not.4.48.23!The 17th placed guy got a 4.49.51...I was only relieved that those who didn't make it into the finals couldn't say that my heat's timing was a fluke...otherwise I would lose respect among my team...well just seeing Mr Chua's face after my race sums up how much I disappointed them.
What happened on Thursday?I don't remember much,just that I felt like shit.I got malay,which I had to act out a sajak..the guys say I acted damn well,I say they are either being damn sarcastic or just want to cheer me up. Studied for my chemistry test on chemical bonding with Hafiz...we ended up doing all kinds of shit except study.Went on to sit for the test,found it a bit challenging but did all the questions in the end.
But then today,Dr. Chia came to my class during recess and told all those who were there that the test was a whitewash,meaning almost everyone flunk it.I might be paranoid,but for all the while he was talking to us,he was constantly glancing at me.To make me feel worse,Mr Tan gave back my physics test on scalars and vectors..I got a 14.5/30...Technically it was a A level pass,but I still see it was a failure.The remarks on my paper was even depressing...
"What happened?Hope it's just a glitch."
Now I really hope that it is a glitch.Otherwise I've made another person disappointed.After school,went to the sahibba competition...The girls were hoping I could get something...all I got was fourth position..and top three make the cut.Went to rugby after that and gave my backs shitty passes that would make a newbie scrumhalf scream...If we were playing against the Three,they would have punish us for my mistakes..
Again,the overriding factor;me.
The National Finals;it was like a dream come true for me.Running always seems like a dream to me.You feel the pain,your wanting to stop as you go about chasing fifteen guys in front of you.That was how it was for me;I was chasing the fifteen who were getting further and further away from me.Oh my God,I would never imagine taking the loser's lap,having everyone cheering and clapping for me,waiting for me to finish the last 100m alone.If finishing last was something to be expected,seeing my timing go up by eight seconds was not.4.48.23!The 17th placed guy got a 4.49.51...I was only relieved that those who didn't make it into the finals couldn't say that my heat's timing was a fluke...otherwise I would lose respect among my team...well just seeing Mr Chua's face after my race sums up how much I disappointed them.
What happened on Thursday?I don't remember much,just that I felt like shit.I got malay,which I had to act out a sajak..the guys say I acted damn well,I say they are either being damn sarcastic or just want to cheer me up. Studied for my chemistry test on chemical bonding with Hafiz...we ended up doing all kinds of shit except study.Went on to sit for the test,found it a bit challenging but did all the questions in the end.
But then today,Dr. Chia came to my class during recess and told all those who were there that the test was a whitewash,meaning almost everyone flunk it.I might be paranoid,but for all the while he was talking to us,he was constantly glancing at me.To make me feel worse,Mr Tan gave back my physics test on scalars and vectors..I got a 14.5/30...Technically it was a A level pass,but I still see it was a failure.The remarks on my paper was even depressing...
"What happened?Hope it's just a glitch."
Now I really hope that it is a glitch.Otherwise I've made another person disappointed.After school,went to the sahibba competition...The girls were hoping I could get something...all I got was fourth position..and top three make the cut.Went to rugby after that and gave my backs shitty passes that would make a newbie scrumhalf scream...If we were playing against the Three,they would have punish us for my mistakes..
Again,the overriding factor;me.
